Rage against the machine

Martial Artist get sick, have accidents, become disabled. This forum will focus on how these individuals cope with their condition while staying active in the martial arts and while living life to the fullest. Administered by Sensei Bill Bauknecht. He's been there and doing great! (You don't need to register in order to post here!)

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Lori
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am

Rage against the machine

Post by Lori »

No - this is not more debate about alternative vs. conventional - it's more personal than that.

This appears to be the place to do it - given the subject matter.

So - martial artists get injured - I've had a few injuries through the years - a few interfering with training a bit - but I usually found ways to work around it - ie. broken foot - emphasis on upper body. Problem now is that I've been told I can't train at ALL for the next 6-8 weeks due to a back injury and torn ligaments from a car accident last week. I'm not bedridden - although that was recommended for a few days - and I did spend a day in a wheelchair during an outing with the kids - but I'm able to get around pretty well - but as far as any aspects of my training - (aside from the regular workouts in the dojo I run 15-25 miles a week and have a weight routine including the standard sit-ups and pushups) - but now I can't do any of it and it is about to drive me insane.

I'm one of those people who take out my frustrations in my workouts - and even if there aren't any major stresses in my life at the time - the workouts smooth things out and are just such a part of life that it is damn near impossible to visualize the next month or two without them - not to mention the "easing back in" phase after healing.

I'm more frustrated because I'm slated to test next year and was just gearing up to fine tune and polish before the event - got a school reputation to keep up.

That sounds pretty "whiny" I know - after spending that time in the wheelchair I have an infinitely greater amount of empathy for those who have faced permanent or long-term physical set-backs - I was so frustrated by the lack of mobility - even moreso than the pain - that I was about to punch anything after a few minutes of being pushed in that contraption. Never mind trying to make the thing move under your own power when you can hardly move your arms!

My question is this - how the hell does one adjust to this? I suppose I am fortunate that this is temporary - inconvenient, painful and a major aggravation - sure - but still temporary. I've got to find ways to adapt my intensely physical lifestyle to one of rest and healing for a while - and this is kind of like telling a hummingbird to fly in slow motion. The lack of physical exercise has got me very short tempered - then add pain to that and I've got the temperament of a hungry hibernating bear that some bumbling idiot just woke up.

Meditate - ok - not a problem - lots of opportunity for that!

Think positive? Sure - easy to do when you've got a karate school to run and you can't even demonstrate a move - much less do a kata!

As an aside - I am getting Reiki treatments - and they are helping with the pain (still haven't succumbed to pain meds) but the emotional stress comes back as soon as I realize that I'm missing training time - or when a simple physical task is too much.

Well - thanks for letting me vent. One major lesson learned is that as much as you say you appreciate your health - you never, never really do until something threatens it. My hat's off to any and all of you who have dealt with physical adversity - especially Bill B. Sensei and Al M. Sensei.

Peace,
Lori
Bill B.

Rage against the machine

Post by Bill B. »

Hi Lori,
So sorry to hear about your accident. I know you must be going through H trying to cope with all of this, the pain you appear to be handling, that's good, the mental bit is something else. Physically active people have a much tougher time with the mental recovery for sure. I can only tell you what helped me. While in the hospital, with all the treatment, my concentration was nil. I tried to do kata in my mind and before two or three moves were made, I was off somewhere else. I did finally manage to get through a kata before leaving the hospital. The key to my recovery was doing kata in my mind. I can't tell you how this helped. I suppose this is a type of meditation, which you are doing. The other thing I did, as soon as I was able, I went to the dojo. I couldn't do much physically but found that I could do some teaching. Three years later, I still do not do a lot physically but find I can teach. Just the activity at the dojo has kept my mind active. One day Allen came to Falmouth and we had a nice work out together. I remember years ago, I was a judge in the kata competition at one of the tournaments. One student was in wheel chair. I can't remember how he placed, that's not important, I just remember his determination, he was great. I can only hope you can keep your mind active and I wish you a speedy recovery. I believe my martial arts training got me through this, it will get you through it as well. Hang in there!!!
Bill
JohnC
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 1998 6:01 am
Location: Florida

Rage against the machine

Post by JohnC »

Lori:

Sorry to hear about your accident. I'll send some Reiki your way. Hope you feel better soon. You know the answer to this one of course. If the static and noise of your troubles weren't so loud ...

Now the wheel of the 3 conflicts turns and the body is in conflict, launching it's attack on the mind and spirit!

Work on the mind and spirit in ways that can be easily neglected when training. Expand your sanchin mindset to new horizons. Work on mushin so encompassing you can know one thing, but know all things. Harness all your other faculties and senses to your martial focus. Feel, hear, see, smell and expand.

Afterall, the mind usually quits before the body all too easily anyway. Time now for the mind and spirit to overcome, and for you not to just survive, but prevail!


JohnC
Allen M.

Rage against the machine

Post by Allen M. »

Hello Lori

You never adjust. You just deal with it.

And sometimes the frustration gets so bad you come close to doing Sanchin in the surf facing the sea in a gale to defy mother nature and show her just how much you hurt inside. I mean really driving up to the beach, standing in the salt spray by the roadside, and contemplating it.

But to stand, leaning into the howling wind and driving rain of a fiece storm, safely off the beach, supported on two canes is as far as it gets and is good for the soul during those times of torment. I stand there and growl back with my best vocabulary until I get cold, soaked to the bone, and tired; sometimes even feel a little stupid. But I have expressed my anger and frustrations with all my innner strength, vented it into the vast void, thrown it out back where it belongs as I have set out to do.

The storm inside subsides, then I get around just like everyone else. I wish you speedy recovery with all sincerity, Lori.

<hr>
Bill, When I was still paralyzed from my accident, I saw a picture of a young adult Black-belt competing at a tournament in a wheelchair. He had NO legs. It's all relative.

------------------
Allen, now at his new website www.ury2k.com

[This message has been edited by Allen M. (edited 11-16-99).]
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gmattson
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Rage against the machine

Post by gmattson »

Sorry to hear about your accident Lori. Knowing how strong you are both physically and mentally, I have no doubt that you will recover quickly. During the 'downtime', spend as much time as possible in the dojo helping students using skills not normally needed. I bet you will find a whole new set of teaching techniques that you weren't aware of and that will help your students in a whole new way!

The process may be frustrating at first, but the challenge will take your mind off your limitations and open your mind to a whole new world.

I also find writing about the martial arts helps me remain mentally sharp during 'down' time. I wrote most of "The Way of Karate" while recuperating from T.B. during the Summer of '59. Not a good period in my life. Recalling my wonderful experiences on Okinawa and replaying the kata in my mind helped heal my body in record time.

Best,

------------------
GEM
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Jackie Olsen
Posts: 619
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 1998 6:01 am
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Rage against the machine

Post by Jackie Olsen »

Dear Lori,

I am so sorry to hear about your accident. As you know from my frustration this year of dealing with kidney stones, it’s not easy to be sidelined. I’ve always told myself “when fishermen can’t get out to sea, they stay home and mend the nets.” As everyone attests, easier said than done. It’s hard to see what the teaching is when it feels so unfair.

Perhaps at this time it is good to reflect and tap into your true introspection and intuition. During my downtimes, I’ve had my best dreams and best “ahas” about my training and way. As John C said … this can be a time of spiritual expansion and growth.

I send you loving thoughts and good vibrations, my friend. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to slow down for now and rest. Consider what needs to be surrendered and released so that you can heal.


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In Beauty,

Jackie
Shelly King

Rage against the machine

Post by Shelly King »

Hello Lori

Been there, done that...spent two weeks on strict bed rest after a back injury, followed by over a year of limited activity. I however didn't have the benefit of taking karate at the time. I got through the bed rest by trying to treat it like going to a spa. Relaxed, read some (all) of the books always wanted to but didn't have the time. Of course, I can also tell you how many flowers were contained in the wallpaper on our bedroom wall and that a person can only take so many naps before they begin to lose their marbles. As rough as the bed rest was, the limited activity was the worse. For someone who had always been active and independent, to have to depend on others for practically everything was emotionally painful. Venting your anger and stress (not on loved ones, though they will understand) is beneficial. But the main thing to remember is to take it slow, over doing it will just make the recovery time longer.

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Shelly
Lori
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 1998 6:01 am

Rage against the machine

Post by Lori »

Thank you all for your kind responses - I'm bearing up ok - but the frustration at not being able to work out is still very high... I am certainly going to have to find new ways to channel this energy - thanks for the suggestions!

Actually - I'm kind of embarrassed at sounding so "whiny" - it certainly could have been a lot worse - and I am not looking at being out of the dojo long-term - just not being able to work out for a few months - and then trying to get my muscle tone and conditioning back after that. As for teaching - I plan on returning to that ASAP - for now my sensei has taken over some classes for me - and my daughter is running the rest. I tried to attend in a more observatory capacity but found trying to explain without demonstrating to be very aggravating... that is something I am going to have to work through.

Bill sensei - thanks for the encouragment - you are truly an inspiration.

John-san - thanks for the Reiki Rays - I know that Reiki is probably the biggest recourse I have right now - and has done wonders for the pain - regardless what our cynical Doctor X purports with his studies!

Allen sensei - oh - the rage! I know it well - but not as desperately in the sense that you do! You are also an inspiration - keep writing and fighting - and the beach analogy is excellent. I really miss those runs - the ocean had a way of calming my raging spirit - now I feel like raging back at the waves...

George sensei - excellent idea - I truly hope that I will find new avenues in teaching during the next couple months - as I mentioned above - I demonstrate without even thinking about it - and trying to get creative without moving too much is a hell of a challenge! Hopefully I can find ways to grow as well as to encourage my students.

Jackie-san - beautiful words! Thank you - I suppose there are a few nets I can find to mend... no time to feel sorry for myself - but time to focus on other long neglected areas...

Shelly-san - that is my biggest frustration! Being very active - counting flowers on the wall paper is mindless and almost enraging at the same time - no flowered wallpaper in my room but I am getting good at counting the revolutions of the ceiling fan paddles! Surgery scares the hell out of me - and under that threat I am forcing myself to rest rather than push it - tempted as I am. Thanks for the sage advice.

Appreciate the opportunity to vent. Thanks for providing the venue - and the support of friends.

Peace,
Lori
Allen M.

Rage against the machine

Post by Allen M. »

Thank you for your kind words, Lori.

The beach thing isn't an analogy, however. I do it when things get tough; hope my truck doesn't rust-out before I do!

One thing that helped when I was recovering from the accident and feeling particularly glum, is remembered that I read something someone said for positive attitude adjustment. His words were <font color=green>"If you think this day is so tough that you can't make it, eat a live frog. Guaranteed that'll be the toughest thing you'll do all day." </font>So when you feel depressed, get yourself a frog and look at him square in the eyes. Hopefully you will walk away from the encounter feeling your day isn't as bad as you originally percieved.

One of the parts to anyone's survival is to be able to vent-off day-to-day [fill-in your own] using non-negative productive means.

Again, recover fast and recover well.

Allen

------------------
Allen, now at his new website www.ury2k.com
Bill B.

Rage against the machine

Post by Bill B. »

Lori,
One of the big reasons you will get through this is that you are a fighter. You will want to speed things up and get back to work, that is natural, just hold yourself back until your body is ready. I know the problems trying to come back too soon. The slower you ease back in, the more your overall rewards. You will be back to normal in no time. Allen is an inspiration to all of us. He has battled back from unbelieveable injuries that have required big time changes in his life. I think of myself sometimes and say, things could be worse. Every day is appreciated more. Don't forget your frustration that you have now, it will help you later on. It's easy to forget when things get better, and remember, PATIENCE!! Best,
Bill
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