For Sale_ This Old House

Sensei Canna offers insight into the real world of self defense!

Moderator: Van Canna

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:10 pm

I hear a whisper in the dark:
Your life gave you a choice and you chose to follow the mystery instead of stopping at the certainty.

You talk to your heart and he is grateful.

And you know that your life has been a marvelous voyage made of new experiences and not of the stopping at the common ‘terminals’ that would have served only to protect you from the fear of living.

You remember your past with tenderness and also with nostalgia, knowing that as ‘gone’ as it is_ it will always remain inside of you. The best friend ever, good or bad.

And you know that you are your ‘past’ but above all, you are the ‘now’_
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:34 pm

And the whisperer continues softly

The biggest error in life is to believe that death is something that will come someday_ from a distant place_ wherever she might be_ but no one really understands that they die from day to day_ minute after minute_ and so, for the most part, death is already here looking over their shoulders.

Every hour that passes, exits the ‘safe’ of your life and becomes part of death’s dominion.

Practically, all that you see already belongs to others _ except for whatever precious time is left, the only personal possession.

Are you still in time to recognize ‘magic moments’ in life as death might look on?

And will it be physical death or emotional death stalking you?
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:44 pm

The whisperer
I know you are thinking of death, but do you really know what death is?

Remorse?

The thought that things could have been different had you tried harder?

Is it the turning off the lights at night and ‘seeing’ all who were before you _ thinking they might be eternal and now have disappeared?

The strange random loneliness except for your loving parents _ You Could have talked to more often _ but let the occasions fade away?

Is it the collection, in your drawer, of lost occasions? Of the hopes you have forgotten?

Of the friends who loved you and then hated you?

Is it the songs that, catching you by surprise, bring back the past as if it were better?

The times you were misunderstood and the times you were more than painfully clear? Of the phone calls waited for _way to long_ that never came?

Is it the memory of leaning out the window of your childhood’s room now gone?
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:46 pm

The vane moon reflecting on the sea; on ‘your sea’ a few steps away? Such glimmer…

Then the sudden darkness, the darkness of your house?

Is it _The cold_ the fear as always_ at the thought of so many of your ancestors who died in your bedroom?

Is it your turning and not able to not look at your room; now without all those huge pieces of furniture seeming so painfully big.

Is it seeing where once your bed was, now a pile of boxes? The boxes of your childhood. How you yearn to open them.

Is it kneeling before the ‘pile’ _ one very small box, the smallest, attracting your attention… seeing it full of handwritten letters; some written badly…yes they had to have been written by a child.

You try to read them. But every word you decipher causes you so much pain…you must stop.

What is death?
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:53 pm

In the mind's eye I see my childhood writings through a thick fog of tears…
and an awareness of this sudden candlelight enveloping the room, the Big Ben clock going off next room over _ memories of this ‘next room’ _ the parties of the allied troops_ having taken over the abode once for a Headquarters....I don’t feel well.

Is it the hearing _ of strange voices as though someone is shouting my name_ and my realizing that this someone is really from your past calling me ?

Is it _ A road traveled at great speed leaving all that was familiar behind_ my shouting in silence_ knowing what are I am leaving behind_ friends, affection_ you see streets, houses, persons, piled up_ my unique possessions I don't want anyone to touch ...
unique feelings_ experiences_

_ Are these mind specters of symbolic significance coming from the world of shadows_ of times past and from other places of my life_ to add another dimension to my tormented existence?”

Do you see? The voice says lovingly.
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:58 pm

a huge bright sign_ flashes in my mind...is written in bright yellow letters: CONSCIENCE: Perhaps this was the explanation. Words like this - dangerous words like this.

Tired ad confused I am deeper into contemplation of my life. Strange past events come into focus.

The strangest: I had met someone in a bistro once_ and for some unfathomable reason; I kept running into this person quite often; several times a week _ in my random goings. Strange.

Even more unsettling _ I had taken a trip to Europe and decided to visit the beautiful lake Lugano, in Switzerland.

I had entered the lobby of a Grand Hotel on the shore…and there...The same person standing - smiling along with family members/looking at me... I had frozen speechless...the nicest people I had ever met.
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:11 pm

In my reverie I must have momentarily dozed off.

Can’t be sure what it was that made me sit up with a jolt.

As soon as my eyes open I sense that there is, after all, someone else in this room ...out of the past. But where?

With a start I feel a small hand pulling at my sleeve.... There was no mistake...it felt like a child's hand gently tugging ...
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:16 pm

The thought comes: “My dear diary_ I love to write to you. What I tell you is a secret between you and me.”

‘Everything interesting begins in the mind.’ And everything interesting must be preserved for future introspection.

Now an impatient Rain was pelting down viciously ....every now and again interrupted by a powerful flash of lightning that blitzed the sky. Hail so thick it sounded as bullets ‘wanting in’ _

Downcast, I huddle in my thoughts shivering in desolation.

The voice .... continues:

“As a young man you learned about Existentialism.

Human existence _ as having a set of underlying themes and characteristics, such as anxiety, dread, freedom, awareness of death, and consciousness of existing. Why do you think you exist?”

~~

In mind torpor I see the night I traveled in all its darkest hours to reach the city by the sea... looking for a friend.
I had heard the faint sound of a sad music approaching in the distance.
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:18 pm

I ask: what about the child tugging at my sleeve?

the voice speaks:
“The child is reborn from the ashes of duty. Anger and doubt feed his unsteady step towards life’s knowledge, towards maturity and companionship in the ocean of eternal youth.”
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:21 pm

I recall_
Dear mother, so much you did suffer_ you suffered so much....you were his preferred victim, and in your denial _ you would have thrown yourself into the fire to save him from his own ‘masterful’ arrogance.

And the thought flashes: you had counted the trees in the long road...they were all lined up so orderly, each on each side of the road_ one, two, three, and on and on...you calculated that , plus or minus, there were about two hundred and fifty all lined up on the way to school.

Then, as you reached the 199th _ something snapped inside of you. It began as a sharp stomach pain followed by a weak, febrile sensation.

You had leaned against the big tree for a moment, in the grip of nausea and dizziness. Your cheeks had reddened, and suddenly inside you were overcome by violent anger.

You had sprinted down the road; the trees were aiming at you, as surreal shadows.

They had become rigid, dark phantoms paving the way to the train station.

With the few dollars you had left_ you had bought an escape train ticket to Venice. It was a one way ticket only.
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:33 pm

Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Thu Jan 31, 2019 10:20 pm

The Angel

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the air.

"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands; "She struggled to
get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused
"On where the back seat once had been,"
But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats
crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen; "She did not hear them
cry,"
"And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "

Then firemen came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back, "
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad "And was traveling
alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
"In beseeching supplication, "
Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
"Their jeans are blue to match.""
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car, "
And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there "And gave them each
a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom To come and take them
home.
"I've searched the area high and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene, "
"I guess, and that is very bad."

"The mother hugged the twins and said, "
"While wiping at a tear, "
"He could not flee the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."

"The cop just looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came "
"And left a kiss for you."

He told us not to worry
"And that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with "The pretty, flashing
light.
"We wanted him to stay with us, "
"Because we miss him so, "
"But Mommy, he just hugged us tight "
And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand
"And told us not to fuss, "
"And he said to tell you, Mommy, "
"He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt
"That what they spoke was true, "
"For she recalled their dad's last words, "
" I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain "The twisted,
mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped Without a single scar.
"But on the cop's report was scribed, "
"In print so very fine, "
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven,
He saw me, and he asked: "My child, what is your greatest
wish for today?"
I responded: "Lord please, take care of the person who
is reading this message, their family and their special friends.
They deserve it and I love them very much.

This message works on the day you receive it. Let us see
if it is true ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all
have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

Pass this on to your true friends. Something good will
happen to you at 11:11 in the evening; something that you have been
waiting to hear.
Please do not break this prayer; send it to a minimum of
5 people!

Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Sat Feb 02, 2019 10:58 pm

My little boy :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgVyKWuTxF4

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without
rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the
tears, and light for the way.
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:33 pm

One day someone special will be gone.

And on that clear, cold morning,
in the warmth of your bedroom,
you might be struck with
the pain of learning that sometimes
there isn't any more.

No more hugs,
no more lucky moments to celebrate together,
no more phone calls just to chat,
No more "just one minute."

Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away.
never to return before we can say good-bye,
Say "I Love You."

So while we have it . . it's best we love it . .
And care for it and fix it when it's broken .
and take good care of it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage ..... and friendships ..

And children with bad report cards;
And dogs with bad hips;
And aging parents and grandparents.
We keep them because they are worth it,
Because we cherish them!


Some things we keep --
like a best friend who moved away
or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that
make us happy, No matter what.



Life is important,
and so are the people we know .
And so, we keep them close!
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

Re: For Sale_ This Old House

Postby Van Canna » Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:36 pm

There is no greater grief than when a parent must put a child to eternal rest. :cry:
Van
User avatar
Van Canna
 
Posts: 57100
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 1999 6:01 am

PreviousNext

Return to Van Canna's Self Defense Realities

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests