Good talk on blocks

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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:04 pm

LeeDarrow »

Great post, Constable Laur, as usual!

In my experience, intimidation can work both ways. When someone comes on with an intimidation move, whether it's an expression, body posture, statement or raised fist, sometimes, the best counter to their intimidation is to appear completely unfazed.


Example: A friend of mine was playing pinball many years ago in Ann Arbor, MI and was talking to a lady who was playing the machine next to his. She was alone and the conversation was innocuous.

Her boyfriend entered the shop from the back and started to berate her and bully her. Without looking up, my friend told him that he was not being polite and not to use profanity.

The boyfriend said something to the effect of "And I'll beat the cr*p out of you, too, shorty!"

My friend's reply, without looking up, was something like, "You are welcome to try. Where do I send the flowers?"

The boyfriend then came around to the side of the machine my friend was playing and into his line of sight.

He was a good 4 inches taller than my buddy's 5'8" and had a good twenty five pounds on him as well, a face that had seen a LOT of fights and scarred knuckles.

Somehow, without changing his expression (as far as I could tell), my friend looked at him calmly and asked, "Would you mind waiting until I finish this play, or would you prefer to do this right now?"

To my utter amazement - the other guy backed down!

When he left, my buddy had to sit down. Hard.

I learned a valuable lesson that day.

Sometimes not buying into the intimidation - IGNORING it - is a great intimidation move in it's own right.

Respectfully,

Lee Darrow, C.Ht.
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:05 pm

hthom »

It works as long as the bluffing doesn't go too far and you can back it up if need be..

Again, the bigger fella might be the new Golden Glove champ who just didn't want to end up in jail that night.
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:09 pm

I agree. We also must remember that some guy is going to get 'triggered' just because there is a woman present...and he just cannot handle her thinking he is not enough of a man.

Every little word you say or little thing you do will have the effect of throwing a lit match in a gas can.
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:11 pm

regkray »

Hi,


It's difficult to know what to do in a street situation.

Sometimes one thing works, sometimes the opposite works.

There is the aggresive ploy and the submissive ploy, either may work on a given day.

Maybe being the middle ground, and being assertive but not aggressive is the best option.

I've used both ploys sometimes diffusing the situation sometimes not.


RK
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:13 pm

Darren Laur>>

regkray:

This is why there are no absolutes in self-protection.

As a fellow instructor stated,” the situation will always dictate the response” and every situation is going to be different !!!!!

This is why training in tactically sound “principls” and “functional” technique that allow you to adapt, overcome, and improvise, is more important than training in “perfect technique” when it comes to the street.

Strength and Honor

Darren Laur
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:22 pm

The Power Of Semantics

Darren Laur »

The Power Of Semantics (The Use Of Choice Speech):

The power of words (semantics) has been the catalyst, in many cases, that has caused countries to go to war. The same holds true for individual self-protection encounters, which are really just a war in microcosm.

Time and time again, I have seen physical confrontations initiated by those who fail to understand the power of words, and how what one says can either escalate or de-escalate a physical encounter.

Prior to an actual physical assault taking place, there will usually, not always, be an exchange of words between the attacker and the intended victim. It is during this Pre-physical contact “interview”, that the attacker’s “intent” to fight can often be de-railed through “choice speech”.

In many cases, the interview is being used as the “lure” to both entice and goad you into a physical confrontation. The attacker is hoping that no matter what you say, the words you speak will give him the excuse he was looking for to physically engage with rage.


Knowing this, how can we use the power of semantics to our advantage? A fellow Canadian Self Protection instructor, Richard Dimitri (founder of Senshido, http://www.senshido.com) stated and I’m paraphrasing; “ I’m not really interested in the final result or the technique used in a street fight, rather I’m more interested in how it escalated to the point of the physical”.

This statement is true brilliance, and something that I have been preaching for years. To many in our field are more concerned about the physical (which, don’t get me wrong, is important) rather than pre-contact psychology. Dimitri’s work in the area of semantics, as it relates to personal combat, is some of the best around and what has spawned this posting on the topic.

Darren
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:24 pm

Darren Laur>>

So, lets look at some common baited statements that are used to elicit a response from us , and discuss how we can remold them, or as Neuro Linguistic Psychology calls it “pattern interrupt (brain fart) the user to our advantage.

Remember, these statements are the bait that the potential attacker wants you to bite at, thus giving them the excuse to physically engage. What we want to do is “DE-RAIL” this mental process to our advantage.


EXAMPLE #1:

“ Do you have a F*****G problem ? “

Here the usual reply is “no”, or no reply at all. Both of these responses, if given, are too finite, and tend to elicit a negative response from the attacker.

The key word here is “PROBLEM”, so use this to your advantage by giving a response such as:

“ Yes, I do have a problem. I just got fired at work, and I have no financial way to feed my family, our look after their needs at home.”

IMO, this reply is very powerful in that it answers your attacker’s question in a way that is psychologically very disarming. Identifying the fact that you have a problem that is going to directly affect your family, is something that can be related to by most would be attackers, thus causing the pattern interruption which can lead to diffusion.

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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:27 pm

This is OK...but I think that most of us will subject to an emotional high jacking by the aggressive remark of the potential assailant. Good thing to practice but who knows where it will lead.
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:31 pm

Darren Laur>>

EXAMPLE #2:

“ What the F**K are you looking at ?”.

Here the usual reply is “nothing” or no reply at all. Again, both of these responses are too finite and tend to elicit a negative response from the attacker.

The key word here is “LOOKING’, so use this to your advantage by giving a response such as:


“ I’m sorry if you thought I was looking at you the wrong way, my wife just left me, and my mind is scrambled right now and as a result, I have a habit of staring out in space which people mistake as staring, sorry man,. I didn’t mean anything by it”


IMO, this reply is again very powerful in that it answers your attacker’s question in a way that is psychologically very disarming.

Darren
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:34 pm

Darren Laur>>

EAMPLE #3:


“ Give me all your ##### money”


If you don’t have any money, never state this fact, by itself, to the attacker.

Remember, they have picked you for a reason and have placed themselves in a dangerous situation where they could be arrested and sent to jail if caught. The last thing the attacker wants to hear from you, is that you do not have anything of value for them to take. Instead a response might be:


“ Man, I don’t have any cash with me right now, but I have my bank card that has a $1000.00 limit on it. You can have it, and I will give you the pin number” . OR;


“ Man I don’t have any cash right now, but see this gold ring, it’s worth $700.00, here take it.”

Darren
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:35 pm

Darren Laur>>

I hope that you, the reader, can see how tactically and psychologically disarming the above examples are. It is because of this “cause and effect” strategy that we can psychologically reverse the intended “lure”, and use it to our advantage to either verbally de-escalate the situation, or use it as a set up for first strike.

Due to the fact that only about 10% of communication is verbal, body language used with this tactic must be congruent with what you are attempting to communicate verbally!!!!! If not, the potential attacker will not believe a word you say.


As with any other strategy or tactic, one must practice these skills in realistic scenario based replication training. Proper Pre Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. The power of words, and their application, is a “MUST” for those who seek realistic self-protection training. Remember, winning a fighting isn’t always about the physical !!!!!!

Strength and Honor

Darren Laur
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:37 pm

gmattson »

I've been trying to get our Uechi students and teachers to become more sensitive to these semantic issues for years. It is difficult, because we have to swallow our pride, which is "unmanly" and anti Martial Arts according to many.

Telling the BG something that might de-escalate the situation is probably a lot more reliable advice than any "killer" move we can teach our students.

However, most students don't want to hear this, preferring to learn the magic physical move that will stop the BG in his tracks.

GEM
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:41 pm

George is correct. I think the big problem is the emotional high-jack that seizes us in that moment not allowing the more tactical response...so it is something to be practiced 'mentally' if no other way.

Or as a student of mine said: better to eat a small bag of s*hit, than be immersed in it the rest of your life.
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:43 pm

Panther »

Everyone likes Darren's post, so I'll be a partial "nay-sayer".

While the explanations of semantics and using them to your advantage are excellent and I like the first two examples, I don't like the third example at all.

There are circumstances that warrants giving some piece of crap your hard-earned valuables, those circumstances do not revolve around "semantics". That is an incorrect correlation which breaks down under the simplest scrutiny.

When someone approaches you with the phrase: "Give me all your ###### money!" There is no semantical misunderstanding at all. (Unlike the first two examples.)

These types of situations have to be felt out at the time and no one can tell you what circumstance it is without being there and knowing.

If it is one of those circumstances where there is no negotiations, the whole "semantics" angle is a moot point.

On the other hand, if it is not, rather than freely offering to subsidize such a person's existence, IMHO, a better response (along the idea of Darren's first two excellent examples) would be:

"Look... You want money. I'm not giving it away. We can either talk about how to help you get some money or you can try to rob me and worry about coming up with money for bail that you obviously don't have.

One way is going to be good, one's going to be bad. Your choice, but I'm only willing to help if you make the right choice."

But the only person who can say whether that will work is the person in the situation at the time.

Panther
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Re: Good talk on blocks

Postby Van Canna » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:45 pm

Darren Laur »

Panther:

As I have always said, don’t be afraid to question and don’t just follow!!!! I think this will be our first interaction on this or any topic on this forum, and I am looking forward to the challenge of explaining my thought process with respect to my third example in the above posting.


IMO, when the “perp” has approached and stated, “ Give me all your F*****G money !!”, he has chosen you for a reason and purpose, he WANTS something of VALUE from you.

He has placed himself in a situation where his actions could lead him to being seen, heard, caught, injured, or even going to jail. The last thing that this person wants to hear from you right now is that you don’t have anything of value to give to him.

This is especially true if the perp is a crack, meth, or heroin addict. They picked you expecting that they would get what they wanted and if they don’t anxiety level in the perp is going to heighten, which is a danger to you.

Darren
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