-I can go ahead and give you the smile and hope you'll go away
-I can take a half step back, get my hands up in front of my sternum (not the aggressive post of Uechi, but closer to my body) and start to raise my voice. It means I'm re-sending you the very clear No message. Maybe I'll even say it loud enough to get the bartender's or bouncer's or other bar patron's attention. If I think they'll be more sympathetic to me than to you.
-I can ignore you, give you the cold shoulder and hope you'll go away. (this choice was not promoted) [end quote]
Dana, this is an interesting and informative thread. Different views on how to address someone soliciting the vending machine smile. Why was ignoring the aggressor not promoted in your class? Because then they would have no need for the rest of the class, academic psychology, real time conclusions?
Usually someone who approaches a woman alone with any kind of non-emergency question is looking for interaction so any type of reply from her may satisfy the need. Depends on his motives, some men want to know what you're thinking or feeling. As described later in the thread, the 'she's easy if she smiles and hard to get if she says no' mentality seems to be common. Personally, it works best and fastest to to let him know I'm just not 'playing' or engaging by not responding. Worked with two drunk guys in the subway recently. After a while it was obvious to them and everyone in a 30ft radius that they were self-made asses so despite their irrational drunken state they eventually moved on.
Each reply lets him know where you're at and gives him something to work with if he is into the 'game' of it. Game is that he wants interaction (and possibly more as discussed) so he gets it via his clever maneuvers around your roadblocks. No roadblocks> no maneuvers> no game, just a uechi glare
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