What really irritates me (and scares me as well)

[Jason Rees]

I do not understand "the protector." I don't know why I was cursed with him. I never asked to play this role. The funny thing is, "he" doesn't even show up on a Myers-Briggs personality test. I am an ENTP - The Visionary . Meanwhile The Protector is INFJ. I'm alike on just one dimension of that 4-D assessment. Until schit happens...

I can totally understand where you're coming from here, Bill. I'm only 5'8", less than average here in the U.S. When I was in great shape, I was no more than 165lbs. Unless I'm ticked off or concentrating on something, I'm the least-threatening looking guy around, ever. I don't remember the letters, but the name 'mastermind' was what the Myers-Briggs came up with.

But I think I know where I got it from. I was always the little guy in school, always the first to get messed with, always the one who had to watch where they were going, or end up a smear on the wall, or a locker somewhere.

But since about age 10, something in me goes cold when stuff goes down. And I just deal with stuff as it comes, whether it's something threatening me or someone I care about. Afterwards, I've thrown up a time or two, going back over it in my head. I think I adapted to the fact that getting upset over things didn't help. Ever.

But I've never felt the fire. That I don't understand, and likely never will. I just don't have that fire in my belly to get angry over anything, even seeing kids experiencing the same things I did as a child. I'll stop it, but the righteous anger isn't there.

It's easier to live comfortably turning your back on such social injustice. I wish I knew how others did it. And these are the little things in life. I'm always afraid of what will happen when that life-and-death situation arises. That's why I really don't like frequenting places where trouble happens.

Lately I've been getting involved with food banks and other agencies that help the poor, things that I think make a difference. I guess I just see alot of what others call 'social injustice' as the natural way of things. Does that make me a cold bastard? Those who know me don't think I am. But, they do know I won't go join them at the bar, nightclub, or other likely trouble spot. There are plenty of other ways to have a good time.

[Bill Glasheen]

Good thoughts, Jason.

THE most important reason for posting this was coming to grips with emotions that *I* know put me on a path to potential violence. Funny how this works, but on a plane flight back home I started reading yet another book on Emotional Intelligence.



Interestingly enough, the book starts with a true story about Butch Connor (a surfer) surviving an encounter with a persistent and nasty Great White shark while waiting for waves far from land at Salmon Creek Beach. A brief description of the encounter can be read from this online source.

Surfer goes toe-to-toe with shark / 'I thought I was dust' he says of 5-minute ordeal off Bodega Bay

That story misses most of the details of the attack, what Butch was feeling, all the many things he did during the attack (including ramming the massive shark in the gills with the tip of his surfboard) and how he finally managed to get to safety.

The point of the story was to give an example of someone in and out of control of the limbic system in his brain. He bounced back and forth between paralysis and functional responses in this long encounter, and ultimately came out alive.

The book stresses the importance of functional inter-connectivity between the limbic brain and the rational brain. Those who most readily recognize their emotional responses to the world around them (happy, sad, angry, afraid, shamed) and can link these emotions to rational choices are most likely to be successful in all they do in life.

The key to the Starbucks story was: 1) I recognized my anger before acting, and 2) I chose at the very least a reasonable response to the anger that had swept over me.

WHY I have such a strong anger reaction to this low threat situation is something I'm still exploring. However the emotion is what it is, and I won't apologize for it. Denying it would more than likely increase the probability of the situation turning violent - a consequence that truly isn't necessary under the circumstances.

- Bill

[IJ]

It's ok to have standards, Bill. I get upset at all sorts of things that don't make sense, like AC with windows and doors open, deliberately trashing recyclables, deliberately risking health and asking others to pay the tab, and obnoxious behaviors that take from others from theft to neglect and carelessness to more egregious crimes.

They're not following the golden rule. That's basic. You SHOULD be mad, and you should be able to control your anger. All is well.