Hope I didn't leave any of you out of this list!
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 6:35 pm
Dear GEM, I notice that sometimes a person is driving a car with one set of plates, but he is really from another state. How can I tell where a driver is really from?
Signed CLUELESS
Dear CLUELESS,
There is actually a bonafide 100% way to tell:
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO.
One hand on wheel, middle finger out window: NEW YORK.
One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY.
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON.
One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in CALIFORNIA.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY.
One hand on 12oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE.
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS.
Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: OKLAHOMA.
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA.
One hand on the wheel, the other on his sister: ARKANSAS.
One hand on wheel, the other in your pocket: WASHINGTON DC
Signed CLUELESS
Dear CLUELESS,
There is actually a bonafide 100% way to tell:
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO.
One hand on wheel, middle finger out window: NEW YORK.
One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY.
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON.
One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in CALIFORNIA.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY.
One hand on 12oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE.
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS.
Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: OKLAHOMA.
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA.
One hand on the wheel, the other on his sister: ARKANSAS.
One hand on wheel, the other in your pocket: WASHINGTON DC