What really irritates me (and scares me as well)

[Van Canna]

We all have our impish, throw-caution-to-the-wind moments.

Myself, I don't get worked up over handicap spots. Kinda hard to, when we have a handicap thing for our vehicle. My middle son has a heart condition. We sometimes use it, we sometimes don't. It's conditional, based on his condition.

I've seen the looks, but I gotta tell ya, when we're using it, I don't much care what people are thinking. Someday it might get physical and I'll have a guy like Bill in my face, all moral indignation, hell's fury and heaven's avenger all bundled up and ready to burst. God help us.

This is the scary part. When we get into someone's face..we don't know their state of mind of the particular moment...it could be the person in the wrong spot could have some personal emergency/family emergency etc. and if you get in his face he may well pulll a gun and shoot you dead.

I had such a case in well known Brookline Mass hospital's parking lot years back.

The husband rushes to the hospital with his wife bleeding uncontrollably....and he parks in a restricted area..then gets his wife out of the car and yells for help...

One of the hospital's rent a cop...a total f!@@# moron...rushes over and orders him to move his car.

The husband says 'I want to be with my wife until she is safely inside and getting treatment...here are the keys...please you move my car'

The moron insists he must move his car 'NOW' _ the husband refuses...an ugly fight ensues with several responding 'rent an idiot' jumping into the fray.

Very bad injuries result to both the husband and a couple of those security idiots....

I handled the law suit against the hospital and the security company under contract.

Jerks being fired left and right and criminal charges brought by the husband agains several of them.

Very nice and very smart

[Jason Rees]

Van, I don't disagree. Usually, given a few seconds' thought, I can snap out of my natural impulse to screw with someone. Certainly, everything you posted counts as good reason not to stir the pot unneccessarily. I have another: any time a military member gets in trouble in the civilian world, the military takes a whack at them for 'presenting the (fill in your branch here) in a bad light.'

Talk about double jeapardy! lol.

I can certainly understand acting out of first indignant impulse when we don’t even care for the consequences.

But as martial arts practitioners we learn to act responsibly and tactically to avoid costly unintended consequences, having to dig deep in your wallet to pay a lawyer for criminal defense charges, if our actions trigger unintended/unforeseen attacks by the wrong guy we happened to pick on when there were alternate solutions…

Having to dig deeply in your wallet to pay for defense and or indemnity against a civil suit…because your insurance company will deny coverage…

Or possibly having to spend some vacation years behind bars.

By blocking people out of handicapped spots or create a disturbance by taking photos etc. _ we are not going to change the world…

The reasonable thing to do is to go into the store and report the problem to management/ security and let them handle it.
Never seek a confrontation if ever possible to avoid one.

[Van Canna]

Take a trip to Germany some time when you can, Van. It is one of God's places on this earth. And while you are there, try jaywalking. You know... innocently cross the street when the light isn't green - even though there are no cars anywhere to be found. Chances are even or better that some random citizen will stop in their tracks and yell at you.

But of course. And the yeller feels comfortable because a fellow German would take it in stride.

But I bet this same righteous dickhead will know better than pulling a yell to some jaywalker on the streets of Sicily, because he knows he would be turned into German sausage.

If he yelled at me while in Germany, I would just yell back in ‘American language’…”Go F@## yourself”...

How's that for impulsive behavior?

[Bill Glasheen]

When in Sicily...

- Bill

[Van Canna]

Well...the arrogant German who yells at some jaywalker, even in Germany, is apt to catch a few bullets or blades for lunch sooner or later, if he pulls his arrogance on the wrong people.

For example, would anyone in his right mind …including the arrogant German in Germany _ yell out at these guys if they were to jay walk or happen to park their car in a handicap spot….in a German parking lot…or anywhere?



A pretty good chance the yeller will turn into a handicap spot himself, painted on the surface of the lot.

I have witnessed road rage when ass-hole drivers self appointed as ‘traffic enforcers’ attempted to prevent anyone from passing them on the right in the breakdown lane…by partially blocking it.

Now, again, think of some emergency reason a driver may have to want to pass on the breakdown lane, a sick child, he may not feel well, he just got a call a relative might be dying etc._

And he runs into a real dork on the road like that.

Once, in the aftermath of a snow storm, I had to get out getting some emergency supplies for home and got on the road where there was a road plow ahead of me…plowing the right side of the road.

When I attempted to pass on the left lane…the moron driver proceeded to cut me off…then getting back into his lane he was plowing…he kept doing this for a mile…cutting me off to prevent me from passing.

That’s when I lost it….I kept following him until he signaled a left turn…and then cut my front end into his turn forcing him to stop.

I got out of my car, he did not. My extreme rage was spitting flames at him… I could have cared less if he had been King Kong at that moment…I would have taken him out one way or another. He was terrified….

When I finally got home and thought about what I had almost done…a chill came over me.

Sometimes we learn life’s lessons the hard way.

[f.Channell]

Get a Mr Coffee Bill and the problem is solved.
No parking problems in my kitchen!
but leave it to a scotsman to be too cheap to buy Starbucks anyway.
F.

[Van Canna]

I can emphatize with Bill or anyone else getting hot under the collar_ observing some people just not giving a damn and trampling on others' rights , such as usurping their parking spots, cutting in line etc.

But what we do in response to what we observe...can have some very profound unintended consequences not only for us but for other innocent people.

That 'momentary infraction' of human decency will quickly pass and it will not result in any permanent nightmares.

What we do to 'rectify the infraction' can indeed result in terrible consequences.

We will pay for those 'impish moments' _ Jason....right?

[Van Canna]

When you think about it though...there is a very easy way to handle that 'saying something' to someone who abuses a handicap spot without becoming confrontational:

You might call to their attention that in that 'particular area' police is on the lookout for such infractions and the ticket is very expensive.

This would most likely have the desired effect for the person to move...you will have given him a way to save face...and he would probably mutter some apology and thank you.

[Van Canna]

If they had a handicap decal and don't look handicap I wouldn't, for the life of me, confront them. How do I know? Not all handicaps are noticeable.

I worry from time to time when I park in handicap. I don't look handicap, that's because I'm not. My ds is. He looks like an toddler though and I'm sure some people have probably wondered why we are in that spot.

I only park there when we get the wheelchair out (which isn't a normal looking wheelchair). So, I'd be pretty upset if someone decided that because no one getting out of my car looked handicapped they would ream me for parking there. They don't know.

So, yes, I think rude to approach someone in the handicap parking who doesn't look handicap.

[Van Canna]

Most people today have a cellphone with a camera. Don't vandalize the cars parked illegally, you don't want to go to jail or have to pay for their repairs.

But take some pictures and call the cops, they will get a ticket and often towed.

In Wichita, the police will ticket cars parked illegally based on the photograph of the car without a plate or hang tag [be sure to get the license plate number]. Email the pictures to the police.

Sounds interesting.

[Jason Rees]

We will pay for those 'impish moments' _ Jason....right?

Sooner or later, Van. Sooner or later.

[Van Canna]

We will pay for those 'impish moments' _ Jason....right?

Sooner or later, Van. Sooner or later.

And ain't it the truth, Jason.

Tacticians teach to let things slide unless directly affecting you or your family.

As much as I can understand the ire of Bill and us, for that matter, if something happens...the police, judge, or jury will simply ask:

> That wasn't really your business to intervene...you were the cause of the consequences...why did you not just call the police? <

What answer do you think they will really accept as an excuse for your actions?

[Greg]

You might call to their attention that in that 'particular area' police is on the lookout for such infractions and the ticket is very expensive.

This would most likely have the desired effect for the person to move...

Canna Sensei,

Funny you should mention this - almost exactly what happened a couple of weeks ago:

I saw a soldier parking in a handicapped spot near the gym and said something along the lines of "I think you just parked in a handicapped spot; they're liable to tow you." No one got heated and the situation resolved peacefully... of course that was in part because he was not in fact in a handicapped spot - they had painted over it when they repaved the parking lot!

Years ago I remember dealing with this issue very differently - self-rightously glaring at offenders, confronting people etc... For that matter, I also remember admiring a woman who told a story (in a letter to the editor) about coming out of the grocery store to find someone without a handicapped plate/permit parked in a handicapped spot. It was a warm day and the car was parked with its windows open; she proceeded to smash several eggs on the dashboard.

[Van Canna]

I saw a soldier parking in a handicapped spot near the gym and said something along the lines of "I think you just parked in a handicapped spot; they're liable to tow you." No one got heated and the situation resolved peacefully

When you think about it…most people will respond positively to threats to their wallets…as opposed to what they will perceive as ‘arrogance’ plain and simple.

You played a ‘verbal judo’ game and won without aggravation all the way around.

Years ago I remember dealing with this issue very differently - self-righteously glaring at offenders, confronting people etc...

I can understand that. At times it is difficult to ignore a certain behavior in some people who seem to wear an ‘entitlement’ sign across their foreheads.

People who jump in front of you in a line [many women do that in supermarkets…I had one lady actually stepping over my feet in order to beat me to a line for coffee at a Dunkin doughnut shop at a mall]

People who abuse clerks behind counters etc.

But when we confront in any way…we must be ready for ‘escalation’ just around the corner…and then what?

Let’s say you glare and yell at someone who just parked his car in a handicap zone.

Now he glares back and says “And who the hell are you? A cop? A store worker? What?”

“This is none of your business…get lost, will you pal?”

Now what will you say…be forced to say?

No matter what you say at that point, it will be perceived as a verbal attack or more.

Then the person might say… “Oh yeah…what are you going to do about it_ Tough guy? Fuch off”

Do you see what you have started? Will your actions and words be seen as the reasonable thing to have done under the circumstances?

I know very well the feeling of ‘boiling inside’ and the seductive calling of wanting to do ‘something’ to teach those louts a lesson.

OK…so now, after he tells you to “Fuch off” ….no matter what you do or say it will be seen as escalation…OK…you say…the hell with it…the guy deserves it…

And you now get in his face…what can happen next is not too hard to imagine.

Then, in a hellish aftermath, how many times will you be told you were a fool, a big tough karate guy just waiting for the chance to use it on someone _ a student of an ‘art’ that promotes lack of proper judgment…etc.

Or how many times will you say to yourself from a wheel chair, from behind prison bars, from the unemployment lines, from a ‘legal deposition chair’ ….’ Was it really worth it _ you ass-hole’?

Not easy to hold back the demons…I know it…believe me.

I had a hard time once holding back such demons of fury upon first meeting a total ass-hole I had graciously invited as a guest in my house…because of what he said.

So I understand.

[Van Canna]

For that matter, I also remember admiring a woman who told a story (in a letter to the editor) about coming out of the grocery store to find someone without a handicapped plate/permit parked in a handicapped spot. It was a warm day and the car was parked with its windows open; she proceeded to smash several eggs on the dashboard.

That woman was a total idiot.

First of all she didn’t know the real circumstances as to why that car was parked in that spot, she was proceeding on assumptions_

Secondly_ she had just broken the law…and most likely what she did was recorded by the store’s parking lot cameras or witnessed by someone.

She would be charged by the police and ordered by the court to pay ‘out of pockets’ to restore that vehicle to its pristine state before the ‘egg drop’ …something very expensive on top of legal defense costs.

She might have been caught in the act by the car owner/occupants just coming out of the store…people looking like this:

Imagine what they would do or plan on doing to that woman in retaliation…

Once, upon landing in the Rome Airport, Italy, _ I witnessed an American ’self entitled’ Lady…give a local baggage porter a terrible hard time over some bags…

The porter, a big hulking man, took it for a while, but as she continued to berate him _ approached her with a killer look in his eyes…

...causing her to run off in a terrified state, screaming for help, dropping her bag and small suitcase on the terminal floor.

Not very good judgment.