Young Scary Males

[Cecil]

In the "Reality of Self Defense" forum, Stryke wrote this in the "Bad Guys...." thread: "i could make a similar point to saying be afraid of all young males "

If you ask me, I think quite a few martial arts schools are "scurred"
(a la Mystikal) of young males. I find it uncommon for a guy in his
twenties or early thirties to START martial training. When I went
school shopping some years ago, I found myself typically the only gup/kyu
ranked male in his twenties. Sometimes there would be another one,
but he would quit because of family duties.

I know I've also felt some fear whenever I have walked in some doors.
That now has become one of my litmus tests. If the instructor acts
like they're scared of me, I'm out. Now, if I sense some fear but
she makes an effort not to give into it, that's fine. But if someone
who can throw me around the mat with one finger still acts like
they're scared of me because I'm a big young male, I ain't breaking
my neck to train there. I won't be rude, but I won't fork over
any money for lessons unless there is just no other way.

[rich_simons]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Cecil:
I find it uncommon for a guy in his
twenties or early thirties to START martial training. When I went
school shopping some years ago, I found myself typically the only gup/kyu
ranked male in his twenties. Sometimes there would be another one,
but he would quit because of family duties.

Cecil:

This has not been my experience at all. I started when I was 22. Many of the students, with whom I have trained also started in their 20s, even 30s.

I have seen many teenagers disappear from the dojo. In fact, those who had started as children (and who "trained" for upward of 10 years), often disappear. That is another discussion though - why do students stop training? Perhaps boredom, lack of positive reinforcement, and inability to see progress.

Rich

[Ted Dinwiddie]

I started when I was 20. I was pretty serious for about three years. I continued to practice some, but had too many things to do and my school was 1.5 hours away. I hadn't seriously practiced for about two years when I started with my current school about 12 years ago. That 12 years has had some ebb and flow in my focus on the arts; three kids and a bout with corporate amerika will demand some time. I made Shodan on January 13, 2001. I turned 40 in September of the same year.

The first school I was with had a marked preference for twentysomething males; knuckle-draggers welcome. Not many women stuck around, though some did. The school I am with now loves 'em full of testosterone and p*ssing vinegar, though most don't last. We have several dedicated women who can inflict great pain on the aforementioned subjects. We tend to look at those guys as fresh meat. Some thrive on it and settle in, others are gone in two classes. Maybe the forty-ish dads and moms in there are a little too unimpressed with young bucks.

Seriously, that age is beset with many priorities and distractions. It's pretty tough to be focused on an activity that gives little instant gratification.

------------------
ted

"I learn by going where I have to go." - Theodore Roethke

[2Green]

I started at age 47.There were students and instructors both older and younger than me,though most students were younger.When the Dojo folded about 1 1/2 years later,most
quit. Some stayed on at our new location for another year, but all are gone now except for one guy older than me, and one girl a bit younger than me.
So it was the older ones who kept at it in the end. It's been over three years for me.
If I make Shodan by age 55 or so I'll be happy.

[Glenn]

The dojo I belong to has tended to mostly attract older students as well. Most of the students have started in their 20s or 30s, and those are also the ones who have stuck around the longest. The teens rarely stay around for more than a quarter.

------------------
Glenn Humphress
Lincoln, NE

[Bill Glasheen]

I was so spoiled when I taught at UVa, and knew it. I would get roomfuls of bright, 18 to 30-year-olds to mold as I wished. Thankfully in a university environment, you don't get too many of the street-type knuckledraggers. But I certainly had my share of young attitudes to deal with in any new group. I had ways to modify behavior or help problem students arrive at the decision that they didn't want to be there. I never had to kick anyone out. To some extent, a decent sized dojo with well-understood principles of operation takes care of itself after a while.

Along with the young males came young females too. In fact...they did tend to attract each other to a certain extent.

Now that I teach in suburbia, I rarely get those young bucks and does. Frankly I miss them. I wish I had more like you, Cecil.

- Bill

[crazycat]

Being an ol'mountain man I come down from the mountain to the city of 10,000 to the dojo and I wonder who is afraid of who?

I've assisted instruction in a class of the most un-desirable teenagers (the ones that are labeled "special"). With no uniforms, dress attire wasn't much to speak of including teen girls. All they wanted was to be noticed and be the most annoying. Needless to say we helped a little with there attitude but none returned to take further lessons. This was a free class we gave to the public school system.

We do things that please ourselves.

[This message has been edited by crazycat (edited February 24, 2002).]

[Cecil]

"I have seen many teenagers disappear from the dojo. In fact, those
who had started as children (and who "trained" for upward of 10 years),
often disappear. That is another discussion though - why do students
stop training? Perhaps boredom, lack of positive reinforcement, and
inability to see progress.

I can tell you that I may yank my son from karate when he hits that age
and box with him at home. Or I may put him under one
particular TKD teacher if he's still in the game. I'll keep him in
Judo, because he loves it, but not karate. I may let him take some
boxing lessons. Why? Because I have trained in karate as a teenager,
and I know how demented it could get. Luckily, things did not get
too out of hand for me, thanks to a mother who kept me on a very
tight leash. Whenever I started to get too out there, she yanked me
back in line. Or, she'd even stop paying for the classes. Now that
I'm a parent, I thank GOD she did that!

One reason for the huge gap in my training is that I went to college, then played in bands, then settled down, etc.

"We tend to look at those guys as fresh meat. Some thrive on it
and settle in, others are gone in two classes. Maybe the forty-ish
dads and moms in there are a little too unimpressed with young bucks."

I've been on the end of that. And since I am not a hoodlum, I
leave those places, thinking that those people are psycho, that
they have a problem. What I recommend is that you let the person
prove themselves to be a jerk, rather than give off an air of
suspicion or vibes of lowered expectations.

I've also been on the end of rejecting schools that remind me of
Army Boot Camp. I got enough hollering, growling, punching in basic.
I cannot be in that mode of self-defense as a civilian. I went in
one place where they were all standing at attention, then they
broke and started throwing each other down like maniacs. Trophies
were so numerous I literally could not see the lower level of the
walls. When the teacher asked "Can I help you", I literally said
"Hell naw!" and ran! He looked at me like I was crazy.

I am now adopting a policy that I call Don't Be The Only One. Don't be
the only black, the only white, the only Asian, the only woman,
the only man, the only person in your age bracket, the only
person your size, unless you know the teacher well enough to trust
him or her. The class I train is small, but we have people in there
from their twenties to their forties, male and female, black
and white. We used to have three teenagers in there, but they
lost interest. I think the two girls took up cheerleading and the guy may have went on to another style.

[raulf7]

I started at 17 back in the mid 1970's and most people starting then were ages 10 - 25, I dont see any changes really